I WAS a blogger

Truth is...

I WAS a blogger.

I started to blog about 10 years ago. It still fresh in my memory that Along thought me how to create my own blog space. I remember how blog-thingy was a hype during that time. And you know what, blogging thought me quite a lot of life.

Recalling the past 10 years, the internet era was not as sophisticated as what we have now. There were no such thing as wifi or hotspot. When I was a kid, maybe at the age of Standard 2, my kampung house only can connect to the internet using a telephone wire, and you click on the 'DIAL' button, and when you heard the weird alien sound for 2-3 minutes, thats mean you are going to be connected to the internet soon. And, when you want to connect to the internet, you cannot use your house phone. Meaning, you have to choose. So I only use to surf the internet at night. Usually at 9.30 pm because we all have to sleep at 10pm for school tomorrow.

How 'COOL' was that?

When I was 14 years old, I asked Along how to own my blog. I don't remember the story line on how I get the idea to have my own blog. But it sure that because blogging is a 'thing', at that time. So Along told me that I just need to create my own account and I have to use my email. Tell you, my email was so childish one like lala_doraemon. It WAS lala_doraemon guys. Feel want to slap myself for that name.

There! I have my own blog!

It was aqilasays.blogspot.com

Of course it was Along's idea. If not, the maybe it was going to be lala-doraemon.blogspot *rolls eyes*

I blogged ALMOST EVRYTHING about my school life. I treated my blog as a place for me to write such thing as assays. But more in informal way. About my friends, my family. About school's events, Hari Keusahawanan, Hari Sukan, my PMR result also been there. My tournaments, my championships. Andddd.. less about my feelings. I don't usually wrote down about my personal feeling because I don't want people to know me deeper. I mean like people read what my events in life but I don't let the readers to get to know me 'so much'...? HAHA

But the blog kept A LOT of my stories. I let people know my stories but don't want them to know me like my 'best-friend'. Know what I mean? Was it weird?

Guys, I blogged for 6 years. 

Then I stopped.

The story was like this. I enrolled my uni and gained more and more friends. Of course I am not go around and told everybody 'hey i am a blogger, go check it out!' because aqilasays.blogspot is my PERSONAL spot. But there was one of my senior, managed to find out and read it. HE (he is a guy by the way) read ALMOST ALL my write up and seems very interested to it (because, its lot of posts guys). One day, there was a meeting (uni/students meeting and stuffs), and he was there too. At the end of the meeting, when everyone was going back, he said to me that my blog is interesting. He said 'it is good to read about you'.

IT WAS GOOD TO READ ABOUT ME??!

I freaked out.

I don't know if others will feel like that too, but I do shocked because he said that like he want to read more and wanted to know more about me. So I went back to my room and open my laptop almost immediately and set my blog to private. HAH! Thats it.

I don't know.

Yeah, I have my own followers, friends that keeping up with my stories, and also strangers. But somehow to me that is okay. Instead, that incident make me like; I don't want my life to be judged by my senior, or anyone that I am going to deal with for 4 years life in uni!!

Back to the story.

When I set my blog to the private mode, one fine day he texted me and asked why he cannot view my blog anymore. I said that I deleted it. He asked why. I said because I don't want to blog anymore.

After that,

I DELETED IT FOR REAL

Nope. No more.

Then I gave up blogging for years. The previous me don't want to blog anymore because I was afraid that people will read it and use it against me, or think that I am not cool, or people who read it think that they know about me and judge me.

HAHAHA What with all the negativity Qila! *criesss*

But now, I think that I need to blog back. Because I think this space is a good platform for me to reveal who I am and what I am thinking. Why not? I want to spread positivities and alert the necessary awarenesses. I want to write because deep inside me, I love to. I have so many things in my mind and I want to share it with others. Well... at least when at this age I don't focus all about myself and personal stuff anymore. Haha. Maybe still about myself, but I want to rebuild my experiences and thoughts in narrative way.

In a good way.

On Blogger since February 2010.

OK now I regret that my old blog is gone. *cries*